I have the honor of working with families to craft meaningful memorial services when a loved one dies. Each time I am deeply touched and deeply taught. Every life carries a message and has something to teach.

Not long ago I offered a funeral service for a woman named Mary, who had much to teach me. Like all good teachers, she taught by how she lived. Mary taught me about power. She beautifully showed the power we all have over our lives and the way we exert this power is by being the master of our thoughts. Mary understood this and lived a love and joy-filled life as a result. 

At first glance, Mary may seem an unlikely ambassador for power. She married the love of her life, then was widowed at the tender young age of 36, left with four children to support and raise. Then, in her early fifties, she was confined to a wheelchair due to a hereditary disease.  Yet Mary was one of the most powerful people I have ever known.

Mary was powerful because she took control of her thoughts, and therefore created and lived the life she desired in her heart. A life filled with positivity, joy and love. She did this by telling herself what to think, moment by moment, day by day, determined to be happy and to spread joy. Which she did in large measure. 

The great wisdom traditions teach that you are what you think. The Jewish and Christian scriptures teach in Proverbs, “For as a man thinks within himself, so he is.” The first line of The Buddha’s teachings in the Dhammapada is “Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think.” The Tao de Ching says, “Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

The great news is that mastering our thoughts is within our power. We simply learn to tell our mind what to think. And, just like Mary, to do that over and over again. Creating the lives we desire in our heart. Where, like Mary, we cannot help but spread our version of love.