The Golden Rule says to treat others the way you want to be treated. Many of the world’s great religious traditions contain a version:
- Christianity: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Gospel of Matthew)
- Judaism: Love your neighbor as yourself. (Leviticus)
- Islam: Do unto all men as you would wish to have done unto you; and reject for others what you would reject for yourself. (Hadith)
- Buddhism: Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. (Udanavarga)
- Hinduism: Those acts that you consider good when done to you, do those to others, none else. (Upanishads)
In the 21st century we are coming to understand that this wisdom teaching not only refers to actions (don’t be rude, be kind), but also to sharing our inner states and emotions. Neuroscience is showing us that the golden rule is not only an instruction, it is a reality. We are giving others what we are currently giving ourselves. For example, neuroscience has for years been finding that emotions are contagious.
With the discovery of mirror neurons in the brain, we are beginning to understand that we feel what those we are with feel. We are wired to mirror it. Mirror neurons collapse the distinction between seeing someone feel something and feeling it ourselves. Have you noticed your mood being impacted by those with whom you share a home? Or that someone smiling makes you smile? Or seeing someone cry causes you pain (or tears?) These common examples show mirror neurons in action.
For parents and other leaders this effect is magnified because people are watching intently to get a reading on their current interior state (which they will then mirror.)
Imagine you lead a group of people and you show up with stress, worry, fear and aggression all going on within you. You are sharing this with those around you. This is not a place where creativity and potential will thrive. Now imagine you show up with deep interior stability and peace. You are sharing this with those around you. This is a place where creativity and potential can thrive.
Developing deep interior stability and peace simply requires learning and honing a set of skills. These include emotional intelligence, training the mind and being present. With some gratitude thrown in for good measure.
It’s not just the flu or a cold that are contagious. Our inner states are, too. Consider a fresh look at The Golden Rule with this in mind.
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